Another day, another pill.

So, I switched from nights to days when it comes to taking my pill and it seems to have helped. I don't sleep during the day anymore. Yesterday, I felt a little nauseous, but that seems to have gone away today. Not sure what that was about. 

It's odd....I'm so used to being filled with anxiety that I don't quite know how to adjust to feeling....normal. But what is "normal" really? Definitely a debatable topic. Maybe I should say okay. 

As I sit writing this, I just worked myself up into a small panic of "am I really okay? What if something happens?" But luckily, I got myself out of it. Yawning. Tired all the time, but still at it. 

All in all, I guess it's helping. No, wait...I know it's helping. I haven't felt tense in a few days and that's a relief in and of itself. I'm gonna keep going, let the meds do their job and while it's happening, I'm going to work on my brain because, as of now, that's the problem. Me thinking somethings going to happen. I need to find a way to get through that. 

Let go and let God, they say. I'm putting my faith in a higher power. But the one promise I'm making to myself: I will not stop living. I will not stop enjoying life  

This will not beat me.